Caring at the End of a Life

Death is most difficult when it becomes a decision. Making decisions that you know will make it certain, e.g. deciding to discontinue medical care, is extremely difficult, stressful and exhausting as I recently experienced when my father’s medical condition and prognosis proved that death was imminent and that discontinuing medical care was the most humane thing to do to speed the result. An OSF intermediate care nurse (Joe Pilon), and two University of Illinois College of Medicine Internal Medicine Hospitalists (Christy Chen and Swapna Chalasani) skillfully made this process bearable. They applied all current medical knowledge in stabilization with a valliant attempt to regenerate him but he did not respond to treatment. The physicians made the difficult and dreaded call to meet with me. I was surprised by the tenderness and benevolence that they used to give me the facts and choices. To do this with genuine emotion and empathy is a skill not all physicians acquire. Many manage a staged expression of same. It was clear the choice was mine; they did not indicate which was better, but supported whatever decision I made without causing guilt or remorse. My heart knew to discontinue treatment but then my head kicked in. “So what I’m doing is basically killing him.” “No”, they immediately chimed in, “You would be making what will happen soon, happen sooner, but we will ensure that he will make this journey in comfort.” They did so with solace. In addition, the nurses provided for my dad’s care by Passages Hospice, were incredible. To choose a profession to be with individuals to end of life is definitely an answer to their true calling. It takes a special person to give care and comfort, to individuals who may have never really been aware of them to appreciate it, up to their last breath. Genuine tears swept her yes when she shared my grief. These are examples of humanism at its best. – Michelle Wildenradt, in memory of L.V. Pringle.